embers and fire

In early May Mark and Caleb built a fire pit in our backyard.  We have spent several pleasant evenings around it since then.  But last night something new struck me as I sat near the heat.

as the fire started, the flames went high, sometimes even sending sparks out into the yard. (yes, we had a hose near by for safety!)  and as the fire consumed all that was in its path, the crackling faded, no more sparks went out, the wood crumbled, the flames died.  But, the heat remained.  In fact, the heat was more intense.  As I sat mesmerized by the dancing colors in the embers, God began to speak to my heart.  A gentle reassurance of His promises, a reminder of his continued attentions.  You see, I have been lamenting the loss of flame, of spark.  I keep saying, "I know this is not a crisis of faith" and I know that I still long for Him.  But things have changed.  The fire no longer consumes, the sparks no longer fly.  I have been wondering why I lost "it".  And where...

As I watched the embers and how they changed as Mark blew on them, I understood very clearly, the fire that lives in me may not be consuming everything in it's path right now, but the embers are hotter now than ever before.  He is solidifying things in me, Things that were new, fresh, difficult, 5 years ago, He is now "firing" those things in me, 

As believers we often speak about The Potter and The Clay.  We invite him to make us into whatever vessel He chooses, often leaving out the firing process. If clay is left soft it cannot carry anything, nor can it stand up to any kind of pressure at all.  It must be baked, in intense heat, a process called firing.  I am in the firing process.  The heat in me is intense, He is saving his work in me for this time.  Not that I get to sit back on my laurels, it sitll have to seek Him, soak in His presence, live for Him daily.  But I do not have to worry that I do not have flames shooting out the top of my head (so to speak).  He is my fuel, my purpose, my source.  And soon He will be done with the firing process and will breathe on the embers.  Soon the flames will rise.  But for now, I will sit in His incredible heat, and wait for the things he is firing to be done.